Someone recently said to me:
You are doing so much to spread Allah's Deen!"
My initial response? A quick shudder down my spine.
And then the words:
Me and Allah's Deen?
How does that compute?"
A more delayed reaction:
Even though the person means well, and may Allah reward that person immensely for that kindness and generosity of spirit, I am afraid these words will be held against me in Allah's court.
I fear it will be said to me,
Good, nice people in the world thought you were spreading Allah's Deen on Allah's earth.
Just how were you doing it?
What was in your heart at that time, when you were doing it?
What were your motivations and intentions?
And how did your actions match what was in your heart?
And what means and methods did you employ?
And what resources of what kind did you utilize and invest in doing Allah's work?
And what precisely were the things you did to advance Allah's Deen on Allah's earth?
And, over and on top of all that, here you were, your whole life a shame to Allah's Deen --
From A to Z.
So, just how did you fit in? How did you even belong?
So, what do you have to say for yourself?"
And I will have nowhere to hide!
No, the truth is, whatever I did -- or do -- if I did or do anything at all, it never entered my mind that any of it was for Allah.
I did -- and I do -- what I did and do for one simple reason: it is a job that must be done.
That is all there is to it.