Abe & Abdul
It Is The Shari’ah, Don’t You Know!
(Bringing Islam to the World One Concept at a Time!
Taking the Qur'an to Every Home and Heart that Needs It --
And which One Does Not?)
(Abe and Abdul are two nice blokes in quest of enlightenment. They have an uncanny inability to keep their mouth shut when doing so may well be what the doctor would have ordered. How bright they are individually, or what the sum total of their combined brightness is, could be anybody’s guess. There are times when either one of them could substitute for any one of us, which is both exhilarating and scary at the same time.
The original title of this episode, following Abe’s comment addressed to Abdul, was going to be: “It Is The Shari’ah, Stupid!” But just because that particular expression “Stupid!” has gained so much currency over the past few years, everyone does not have to repeat it. Referring to people as “Stupid!” – even in the cute and popular school-culture context – somehow seems to violate the spirit of the Qur’an which says: “Say Nice Things to People!”).
Abe: Lot of scary things around these days.
Abdul: What do you mean?
Abe: You know things like the Shari’ah.
Abdul: Oh, that.
Abe: Don’t dismiss it like that. Shari’ah could be serious business. And all of it pretty dangerous. Bad stuff, this Shari’ah thing, I tell you.
Abdul: What do you mean dangerous? How?
Abe: You know, chopping off people’s heads.
Abdul: Oh, you mean the Queen of Hearts? You know the Alice-in-Wonderland lady. She was having heads chopped off all the time.
Abe: Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. First, you need to be serious. Second, that was literature. Pure fiction.
Abdul: Pure fiction? Nothing to do with reality?
Abe: That is right. One hundred percent make believe. Besides…
Abdul: Besides what?
Abe: How many heads did she really chop off?
Abdul: Not too many, huh?
Abe: None at all. Not one. So, it is benign stuff. Created to make people feel happy.
Abdul: Unlike …?
Abe: Unlike this Shari’ah business which is dangerous from beginning to end. The Mullahs don’t kid around. When they want their chopped heads, they go after them and get them.
Abe: What do you mean “interesting”? Aren’t you scared? At least you should be bothered by this kind of madness.
Abdul: You mean Capital Punishment?
Abe: Capital punishment? You think that is what this is all about? Capital punishment? No Sir, not where these Mad Mullahs are concerned. They do it for fun. Sometimes I feel like following some of these Mullahs in long robes and dark beards around just to catch them in the act.
Abdul: To catch them in the act?
Abe: That is right. Catch them lopping people’s heads and hands off. They have a most morbid bloodlust. They smell blood in every head attached to a human torso. It is the Shari’ah that gets them to be that way.
Abdul: They smell blood, did you say? Like the fellow who went about singing: “Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman”?
Abe: Again you are confusing fact with fiction? That was the Giant, Abdul. He was not like us. He was not a human being. He was different. He was an alien.
Abdul: What about his bread-making skills?
Abe: What do you mean bread-making skills?
Abdul: Didn’t the Gentleman from Cornwall have a special recipe for making bread?
Abe: Gentleman from Cornwall? Making bread? What on earth are you talking about?
Abdul: Didn’t Mr. Thunderdell have a penchant for bread? Didn’t he say how eclectic he was when it came to choosing his bread dough: “Be he living or be he dead, I will grind his bones to make my bread”? Does that sound like him at all?
Abe: Abdul, you are completely whack, do you know that? Either you don’t get it or you are not serious. You are mixing innocent children’s literature like Jack and the Beanstalk with this most God-awful and nefarious things the Mullahs do.
It is the Shaaree’aahhhh, stupid.
Abdul: Innocent children’s literature. I get it.
© 2011 Syed Husain Pasha
Dr. Pasha is an educator and scholar of exceptional
talent, training and experience. He can be reached at DrSyedPasha [at]
AOL [dot] com or www.IslamicSolutions.Com.